Your Barefeet Down The Hallway
by TieMeDownToYourSoul
Summary: He was their best four years. WARNING: Features death of a child.


_Guess who's back...back again...I'm back, tell a friend(: Hello ladies and gents, its been a while but I am back and ready to write for you guys. I'll be updating all of my fics very soon, so look out for those. As for this one, I wrote it a while ago and thought I'd post it. It's sad, though. So, y'know, just thought I'd warn you guys. It involves the death of a child._

* * *

_**I remember your bare feet, down the hallway**_

_**I remember your little laugh**_

_**Race cars on the kitchen floor, plastic dinosaurs**_

_**I love you to the moon and back**_

"Ow. Dammit, Charlie!" Quinn Fabray growled as she leaped onto one foot, holding the other in her hands as she listened to a tinkling giggle before she shot a quick look to the four-year-old a few inches away. "Do you think this is funny?"

"Uh-huh," Charles Michael Berry-Fabray snickered as he clutched his favorite T-Rex in his hand, his eyes full of happiness as he bit his lower lip. "Mama, how comes you don't look where you walk?"

"Cause it's _my _kitchen and I shouldn't have to, little man." Quinn teased as she finally felt the pain leave her foot, the blonde sighing as she dropped her leg and moved forward to scoop the little boy up. "What are you doing, goober?"

"Playin dinosaurs and racey cars." Charlie replied with a bright grin as he began to softly growl, moving his plastic dinosaur forward to playful knock against Quinn's nose causing the woman to laugh softly.

Quinn stared into her son's beautiful blue eyes for a long moment before leaning forward to rest her lips against his forehead as she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, "You are so damn precious. I love you so damn much."

"Mama, that's a bad word." Charlie scolded as he folded his brow slowly, tapping his mother lightly on the nose as he frowned her way before a small smile tugged at his lips. "I love you too, Mama. To the moon and back!"

"To the moon and back?" Quinn loudly gasped as she looked at him with a mock shocked expression watching as his head bobbed in excitement, his pearly teeth flashing as he snickered loudly. "That's _so _much love!"

"Hey, I want some love! I'm feeling left out." Rachel Berry-Fabray pouted as she wondered into the kitchen, dancing her way over to her favorite pair of people and pressing kisses to both of their blonde locks.

"I love you, Mommy!" Charlie assured her with a squeak to his voice as he extended his arms to the woman, Rachel smiling softly as she allowed her son to slip into her hold. "I love you to the moon and back!"

"Wow, that's an awful lot of love."

"That's what I said." Quinn scoffed as she shook her head. "Our son love's hard, Rach."

"Yes, yes he does. He must get it from his mama." Rachel whispered against her son's head, gazing at Quinn with pure adoration in her gaze as the woman flashed her the same expression before they both looked to their son.

"I think we're both just blessed with the world's most perfect son." Quinn cooed as she stepped forward, Rachel grinning as the blonde woman leaned forward to press a loving kiss to blonde locks. "Huh?"

"Yes, yes we are." Rachel nodded.

* * *

_**I remember your blue eyes looking into mine**_

_**Like we had our own secret club**_

_**I remember you dancing before bedtime**_

_**Then jumping on me, waking me up**_

"What are you doing there, silly boy?" Rachel questioned as she heard the lull of the radio, peeking her head in her son's room to find him dancing around in his Spiderman decorated underwear. "Aren't you supposed to be putting your PJ's on?"

"I got bored," Charlie shrugged as he bounced excitedly on the tips of his toes, spinning happily around his superhero decorated bedroom before moving towards his mother. "Mommy, come dance with me!"

"You're supposed to be going to bed, handsome." Rachel sighed even as she playfully scooped the little boy up, twirling him around and basking at the sound of his lively giggles as he squirmed happily in her arms.

"Bed time is for babies, I'm a big boy." Charlie squeaked as he strung his arms around Rachel's neck, burrowing his face into her shoulder as his little legs tightening slightly around her thin waist. "Faster, Mommy!"

"I don't think so, Charlie. Mommy is getting dizzy." Rachel giggled as she dropped onto his bed, the pair bouncing slightly on the mattress as Charlie cuddled into his mother's arms and allowed his eyes to flutter shut. "Are you getting sleepy?"

"Nuh-uh," Charlie replied as he shook his head, a small yawn cluing his mother into the fact that he was lying as he glanced up at her with his beautiful blue eyes that he had inherited from the donor.

"Liar." Rachel teased, brushing a kiss over his forehead before standing to set him on the bed, moving towards the dresser to collect his favorite pair of pajamas before scurrying over back over to the bed.

"Mommy," Charlie began, a yawn cutting into his words as he opened his mouth wide while setting his hands on his mother's shoulder in order to allow her to help him into his pajama bottoms. "Can we have fun 'morrow?"

"Of course we can, baby." Rachel smiled as she slid the t-shirt over his head, ruffling his messy blonde locks as she watched him scramble under his covers with a smack of his lips. "What kind of fun are we going to have?"

"I dunno," Charlie answered, his lashes fluttering slightly.

"Well, how about you dream about all the fun we can have tomorrow?" Rachel suggested in a soft, quiet tone as she leaned down but paused as she noticed a small bruise on the underside of his jaw. "Baby, what did you do?"

"Hmm?" Charlie frowned.

"You have a bruise..." Rachel trailed off slightly as she noticed his eyes had finally closed, the four-year-old obviously far away in dreamland causing her to sigh as she pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

The woman smiled at him one last time before flipping on this night light and turning out the big light, cracking his bedroom door as she wondered to her own room where she found her wife exiting their large bathroom.

"Did you already put Charlie to bed?" Quinn frowned, the look deepening slightly as she caught Rachel's nod before noticing the faraway look that the younger woman was currently sporting on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Charlie has a bruise on the underside of his jaw, it wasn't there this morning." Rachel explained as she drew the covers back, sliding onto the cool mattress as Quinn copied her movements on the opposite side.

"I'm sure he just got it while he was playing with Sophia," Quinn assured the woman with a small shrug. "You know how rough she gets sometimes, it is Santana's daughter we're talking about."

"Yeah," Rachel muttered. "I guess."

"We'll keep an eye on it, okay?" Quinn whispered as she laid her head down on her fluffy pillows, Rachel nodding slowly as she curled her body into her wife's, her expression still thoughtful. "Don't worry, it's probably nothing."

The two women drifted off after Quinn's reassuring words coated them, both feeling the pull of sleep sweep them away, their arms wrapped around each other and their heart beating at the same pace.

"Mama! Mommy!"

Rachel popped up in bed and released a surprised gasp as a small body collided with hers, knocking her back against her pillows before a giggle tore from her mouth as she stared into familiar blue eyes.

"Well, good morning." Rachel whispered, Charlie beaming happily as he leaned down to lay a wet kiss against his mother's mouth causing the brunette to sigh as she ruffled his bed ridden blonde locks.

"Char, it is was too early for you to be jumping on the bed." Quinn grumbled, her voice muffled from the material of the pillow she had her face buried in as she growled slightly. "Go back to bed, little man."

"Mama, it's almost eight o'clock!" Charlie scoffed with a dramatic roll of his eyes as he turned his brown eyes back to Rachel's, staring into them with excitement. "Mommy, can we make special dinosaur cakes today?"

"You bet'cha we can!" Rachel grinned as she sat up, wrapping her arms around the little boy who squealed at the force of her hug before whimpering slightly causing her to quickly draw away. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I got an ouchie." Charlie replied in a quiet tone as he reached up, struggling to press his hand against the pain on his back causing his mother's brow to furrow slightly. "It's otay though, Mommy. You didn't hurt me."

"Let me see, baby." Rachel ordered, the little boy sighing as he scrambled over her lap before turning himself around, the Broadway star lifting his shirt slowly and feeling her heart drop in her chest. "Quinn..."

"Rachel, it is way too early." Quinn hissed.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray," Rachel snarled and the blonde grumbled slightly before propping her weight on one hand, her hazel eyes following her wife's gaze before her jaw dropped at the sight of scattered bruises.

"Charlie, how did you get those?" Quinn demanded as she quickly sat up in bed, her mind sobering at the sight of her son's back as she reached out to brush her cool fingers along the dark spots.

"I dunno," Charlie shrugged.

"Baby, think super hard for me." Rachel ordered as she turned Charlie to face her, tapping his nose and watching as his brow furrowed before he curled his lower lip into his mouth. "Did you fall when you were playing with Sophia?"

"Nuh-uh." Charlie replied as he reached out to play with a strand of Rachel's dark locks, twisting it around his finger before he frowned and locked eyes with his mother. "Can I please go have cakes now, Mommy?"

"Yeah, sweetie. We can go have pancakes." Rachel whispered with a shake of her head causing the four-year-old to beam as he scrambled off the bed, hurrying off to the kitchen. "We need to take him to the doctor, Quinn."

"Rachel, maybe he just fell and he doesn't remember. He seems perfectly fine." Quinn yawned as she scrubbed a hand over her eyes, watching as her wife shook her head. "But if it'll make you feel better than we can, okay?"

"It _would_ make me feel better." Rachel agreed as she threw her covers off her body, running a hand through her hair as she glanced back to see Quinn giving a firm nod. "I'll make an appointment with Dr. Jones today."

"Mommy, cakes time!"

* * *

_**I can still feel you hold my hand, little man**_

_**And even the moment I knew**_

_**You fought it hard like an army guy**_

_**Remember I leaned in and whispered to you**_

"Rachel..."

The brunette flinched at the sound of her wife's voice as she looked away from Charlie's tiny body, glancing over her shoulder to see the blonde standing in the doorway with red rimmed eyes as she shook her head.

The doctor's appointment Rachel had been meaning to set up that Saturday had slipped from her mind, and she wasn't able to make a new one till the following Monday, and that's where she was now.

She had taken Charlie in expecting Dr. Jones to just say that they were normal bruises, that she needed to just keep an eye on how rough Sophia was playing when they were together. But instead, he had simply looked at her with a dark expression and told her she needed to call Quinn.

"Baby, I didn't know." Quinn whispered with a shake of her head as she stumbled into the room, her gaze locked firmly on her sleeping four-year-old. "I-I thought it was just a couple of bruises, nothing serious."

"Quinn, it's alright." Rachel replied in a soft, broken tone as the blonde pulled a chair around the bed so she could sit beside the brunette as the both looked at their son. "Th-the doctors said...they said it doesn't look good."

"That doesn't mean anything, sweetie. We can get other opinions." Quinn assured her as she glanced to see Charlie's eyes fluttering open, a goofy smile appearing on his face. "Hey there, little man. Did you have a nice nap?"

"Mama!" Charlie cheered as he blinked a few times, propping himself on his elbows as he glanced at his mothers before cocking his head to the side. "Mommy, why are you crying? Are you sad?"

"Uh, yeah. Mommy is a little sad." Rachel muttered, her voice cracking under the weight of her words as she reached out to brush blonde locks out of beautiful blue eyes. "Mommy is sad that you're sick."

"I'm not sick, Mommy." Charlie giggled as he rolled his eyes. "I feel great!"

Before Rachel or Quinn could say anything more, Dr. Jones entered the room with another man trailing behind them, both wearing somber expressions as they stopped a few feet away from the fearful couple.

"Hello ladies, this is Dr. Booner." Dr. Jones said with a serious expression, gesturing with his head to the redheaded doctor who nodded his greeting. "Rachel, Quinn we've run some tests on Charles."

Quinn felt the air leave her as she listened to the doctors speaking, each word like a knife through the heart as she briefly heard the sound of Rachel sobbing and her hand grappled loosely before intertwining her fingers with the brunette's.

Leukemia.

One word managed to tear her world apart as her hazel eyes dropped to Charlie's clueless face, his blue eyes widened in fear as he looked between his mothers and struggled to sit up on the bed, his lower lip protruded.

"There are options for him, ladies." Dr. Jones whispered as he crossed his hands behind his back and glanced to Dr. Booner who nodded in agreement. "We're going to look into chemo and other treatments, I think we might have caught it in time..."

All the words blurred together, fumbling into a seemingly never-ending sentence as Quinn opened and closed her mouth trying to figure out what to say, all she could feel was Rachel's hand grasping tightly to her own.

Hazel eyes watched as the two men gave the women sympathetic half-hearted smiles before excusing themselves, Quinn weakly turning her gaze to see Rachel's eyes glazed over with tears as she looked to her wife for answers.

"It's alright," Quinn assured her with a nod of her head, sucking in a deep breath to hold back the tears that were pushing against the backs of her eyes as she turned her head to look at her four-year-old son. "It's going to be alright, baby boy."

Charlie looked from Rachel to Quinn as he silently laid back on the bed, Rachel leaning forward to grasp at her son's hand as she slowly lifted the limb to her lips and pressed continuous kisses to the top of his hand.

Quinn slowly stood from her chair as she made her way to the opposite side of Charlie's hospital bed, sliding onto the mattress to wrap her arms around the little boy as Rachel sniffled and stood to join her so they had Charlie sandwiched between them.

"It's going to be okay, Charlie." Quinn whispered into his ear, biting her lower lip. "Mommy and I are going to fix this, I promise. You're going to be okay, it's all going to be okay. I promise, we're going to take care of you."

* * *

_**Come on, baby, with me we're gonna fly away from here**_

_**You were my best four years**_

After a month or so, it seemed like the chemotherapy was working for Charlie. His smile had returned and his jokes were still as goofy as always, and he had discovered a new love for baseball caps and beanies.

His blonde locks were long gone and his blue eyes had dimmed slightly, but it seemed like things were slowly getting better...or so they thought; they had thought things were going to work out, that he would be okay.

But the chemotherapy slowed down after a while and before they knew it, Quinn and Rachel were watching their little boy slip from between their fingers and all they could do was sit back and watch it happen.

It was a Sunday and rain pattered lightly against the windows of the hospital as Quinn sat on the edge of Charlie's bed, running her hand up and down his back while Rachel sat on the other side whispering silly little jokes in his ear.

He was having another one of his bad days, they had seemed to be more frequent then ever, and he had spent a majority of the morning sleeping and he had only just woken up from his nap, his lower lip protruding as he groaned in pain.

"Mommy, I'm so sleepy." Charlie whispered, his voice cracking as he squeezed his eyes shut slowly. "Mama, Mommy do you 'member how you told me about meeting Jesus? How it's okay to be scared?"

Quinn's hand froze on Charlie's back while Rachel snapped back away from her son, her brown eyes quickly raising to lock with hazel as she watched the blonde woman gap before they turned back to their little boy.

"Mommy, Mama I think...I think it's time I meet Jesus."

"What? Sweetie, no." Rachel snapped, shaking her head quickly as she grabbed his little hand and turned it palm up before leaning down to press a kiss against the cool skin. "Stay here with me and mama, baby."

"But my body hurts. And I'm really, really tired. I wanna sleep." Charlie murmured as he locked eyes with Rachel, swallowing hard before he squeezed her hand lightly. "I know you and mama will be otay."

Quinn carefully slid off the mattress and joined Rachel so they could face their son, watching as his long lashes fluttered lightly to cover the bright blue of his eyes before his goofy smile crossed his lips slowly.

"Okay, baby." Quinn nodded. "Okay."

"I love you, to the moon and back." Charlie muttered, his words slurring slightly as he felt Rachel's lips settle against his palm once more as he allowed his eyes to close before his head lulled against the pillow.

Rachel released a heartbreaking sob as she watched and listened to her son's heartbeat stop, the green line straightening across the screen before swarms of nurses flooded the room and paused to look at the sobbing couple.

"Call it." A blonde-haired nurse whispered.

* * *

_**I remember the drive home**_

_**When the blind hope turned to crying and screaming why**_

_**Flowers pile up in the worst way**_

_**No one knows what to say about a beautiful boy who died**_

"Are you going to talk to me?" Quinn whispered as she threw a quick glance to her wife, the brunette sitting silently in the passenger seat as they drove away from the place they had just buried their son.

"What do you want me to say?" Rachel asked with a shrug as she scoffed lightly. "Do you want me to start talking about how everything is going to be okay? How everything will get better with time? Is that what you want to hear?"

"I..." Quinn frowned with a shake of her head. "I don't know."

"I don't understand, Quinn." Rachel confessed, her voice rising in pitch as she shook her head in pure anger. "How in the hell did this happen? _Why _in the hell did this happen? Why our little boy? It isn't fair!"

"I know it's not, Rach." Quinn sighed as she turned her gaze to Rachel for a quick moment, tightening her hand around the steering wheel. "I wish with everything inside of me that this wasn't happening this way, that we still had Charlie."

"Yeah." Rachel scoffed, with a scowl. "But we don't."

Quinn flinched at the anger behind her wife's words before simply giving a firm nod and turning her gaze to stare out the windshield, her mind churning with memories of her little boy who occupied every sense of her mind.

She remembered his hugs, his little arms practically strangling her with the force. She remembered his gentle kisses, how his wet lips settled on her cheeks. And she remembered his light, how it led her through the darkness so many times.

Today had been the single hardest day of her life, watching as they lowered his tiny little coffin into the ground and listening to the sound of sniffles and sobs that came from the people who had watched Charlie grow up.

But seeing Rachel break had been the hardest part of all of it, she had never seen her wife so distressed from the way she clutched tightly to Charlie's beanie while muttering for her baby to come back to her.

The couple was silent as they pulled up to their home, seeing the multiple people entering their house as they turned to share a glance before they climbed out of the vehicle, Quinn catching Rachel's hand as they stumbled up the walk way.

"Hey," Santana muttered as the pair entered their home, flashing the Latina a brief smile as she looked to the side to see Brittany attempting to console their confused daughter. "Sophia is taking this pretty hard."

"Sorry." Quinn shrugged.

Santana pressed a hand to her forehead before a moment before sighing lightly, "I...I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing to say. Of course you don't want to hear about someone else's child right now."

"That's not true, Santana." Rachel assured her with a shake of her head as she stepped forward, releasing Quinn hand as she fell into the Latina's open arms and allowed Santana to wrap her in a comforting hug.

"It's gonna be okay, Rachel." Santana soothed as she rubbed a hand up and down the brunette's back before glancing over her shoulder to see Quinn standing there with a helpless expression on her face.

For the rest of the afternoon the pair spent time fielding off condolences and apologizes, the two eventually retreating to the safety of their kitchen where they silently busied themselves with random activities.

"Here's uh here's another bouquet." Santana muttered as she entered the kitchen with a pot of flowers, Quinn glancing up from her full plate of food while Rachel turned away from where her hands had been buried in soapy suds.

"Well, those are beautiful." Rachel beamed, her eyes holding the truth of raw pain and unreleased anger as she wiped her wet hands across her black gown before stepping forward to take the pot. "Who are these from?"

"I think Brody sent them, I can totally trash them if you want." Santana suggested as she moved forward but Rachel simply shook her head, a slow smile appearing on her face as she slowly fingered the petals. "What?"

"These were actually Charlie's favorite flowers." Rachel explained with a shake of her head, chewing lightly at her lower lip. "I think I'm going to put these in Charlie's room, freshen it up a little bit."

"I'll do it, babe." Quinn said as she slid off the stool and moved forward to accept the pot of flowers, scurrying out of the kitchen and hurrying up the stairs before she paused at Charlie's bedroom door.

She stared at the cherry dark wood, taking in the multi-colored foam letters that spelled out her son's name with the area surrounded by foam figures of different dinosaurs and red and blue race cars.

Her and Rachel had avoided this room, they hadn't even bothered to spare it a glance since they had lost their son; all it held was memories, painful ones that they were desperately trying to escape from.

"Would you like me to open the door for you?" A voice suggested, Quinn glancing over to see Santana leaning against the wall a few feet away with a sad smile on her face. "I figured you wouldn't be able to go in alone."

"I can go in my son's room alone." Quinn snarled, raising her chin slightly as she juggled the pot in one hand before reaching out to open the door, the smell of playdough and innocence filling her senses as her breath caught.

"Come on, Quinn." Santana ordered as she brushed past the blonde, entering the room and sadly allowing her brown eyes to take in each perfectly decorated area, toys scattered along the race car track rug.

"He never did clean his room up." Quinn whispered as she entered the dark blue room, setting the flowers on the white dresser before looking around the area. "Rachel kept on getting on to him, but he outright refused. Said he liked it this way."

Santana chuckled lightly as she leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest before allowing her eyes to look around the bedroom once more as she took in random objects, "He's a four-year-old, of course he loves a good mess."

"Was," Quinn corrected with a slow nod before catching Santana's confused expression as she raised an eyebrow causing the blonde to clear her throat with a frown. "You uh you said he _is _a four-year-old."

"Oh." Santana muttered.

"He uh he was coloring this for Sophia." Quinn noted as she leaned down to pick a half colored picture off his kiddy table, running her finger over the dragon that was neatly scribbled with a red crayon. "He was so worried that she wouldn't like it."

"She would've loved it, she loved everything that he did." Santana assured her with a nod before glancing down at her feet. "Sophia hasn't really slept since...since everything happened. She's been wetting her bed."

"I'm sorry." Quinn mumbled as she set the coloring page back on his table before moving to his bed, running her hand over his cowboy decorated bedspread and taking another look around. "I'm sure she'll move on soon, she's only five afterall."

"Q, don't shut me out." Santana ordered as she scowled. "You've been so strong for Rachel and you haven't even had a chance to break. Let it out, Q. You know that I'm always here to listen to you, just let me in."

"And say what?" Quinn scoffed as she whirled to face her best friend. "Would you like me to scream and cry? Would you like me to punch you in the face? Because, honestly, I would love to do all of that."

"Q..."

"He was four-years-old, Santana!" Quinn yelled, clutching her blonde locks in her hands as tears fell down her face. "He had a whole life ahead of him and now he's just gone. I'm never going to see my baby again."

Santana watched her friend break before stepping forward and resting a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly as she felt tears slowly gathering in her brown orbs as she shook her head, "Q, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, so I've heard." Quinn sneered with a roll of her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest before locking eyes with her best friend. "Stop acting like you know how to handle this, S. I know you're uncomfortable."

"Of course I am, Q." Santana admitted with a shrug, shoving forward off the wall. "I look at my daughter and I selfishly think that I'm so glad it wasn't her, I wouldn't even know how to handle losing my daughter."

"It's the worst feeling in the world." Quinn sighed, her voice cracking slightly. "You literally feel like your heart is being ripped from you chest, like you can't breathe anymore. You wonder if you can live anymore, if you _deserve _to live anymore."

"Q..." Santana began.

"Don't ever let her go, S." Quinn cut in, raising her watery hazel eyes to lock with her best friend's. "Cherish every minute you have with that little girl because you never know when you're going to lose it all. Promise me, alright?"

Santana nodded silently before stepping forward and gathering Quinn in her arms, the blonde tucking her nose in the crook of her best friend's neck as she allowed sobs to slip from her lips while releasing all her bottled feelings.

"I promise, Q. I promise."

* * *

_**And it's about to be Halloween**_

_**You could be anything you wanted if you were still here**_

The door bell chimed loudly through the house and Rachel wiped the back of her hands over damp eyes before tightening her cardigan and opening the front door, her brow furrowing as she was met with an empty doorway.

Stepping forward to check, her foot knocked against something solid and her gaze dropped to the brown box resting at her feet causing her breath to catch as she leaned down to scoop the package into her arms.

The woman cradled the box to her chest as if it was the most precious thing in her life, her body falling upon the living room couch as she rested it on the coffee table and felt her heart skip a few beats.

It had been almost two months since they had lost Charlie and every day seemed to hurt a little less, but as she stared at the brown box all the feelings that had been slowly vanishing seemed to hit her all at once.

_"How about a cowboy, bud?" Rachel softly suggested as she scrolled down on the computer, the four-year-old in her lap pouting slightly as he shook his head slowly and continued to scan the screen. "What? You love cowboys, Charlie!"_

_"I know, but I was a cowboy last year, 'member?" Charlie reminded his mother with a raise of his brow instantly reminding the woman of Quinn causing her to laugh slightly. "Mommy, I wanna be a big scary dinosaur."_

_"A dinosaur?" Rachel repeated with a frown before she wrapped an arm around Charlie's waist and used her empty hand to type the word into the search box, an array of costumes popping onto the screen._

_"Whoa, Mommy!" Tyler squealed in excitement as he eagerly leaned forward, his nose only inches away from the glowing screen as his blue eyes ate up each costume that was set up before him. "There's so many, Mommy. Which one do you like?"_

_"Hmm, I like this one," Rachel grinned as she pointed at a little green costume with spikes down the back watching as Charlie stared at it for a moment before shaking his head. "Why don't you like that one?"_

_"Mama doesn't like green." Charlie answered without a moment of hesitation as his eyes continued to scan over every choice, the four-year-old puffing his cheeks out as he soaked everything in._

_"Of course. I forgot you were a mama's boy." Rachel grumbled with a roll of her eyes before she watched as Charlie gasped before shooting forward to press his little finger on the screen, his eyes widened. "That one, huh?"_

_"Yeah!" Charlie nodded._

_Rachel giggled as she clicked on the costume and felt Charlie eagerly squirming out of her lap, the brunette woman pulling up the order information and typing in all the things that were required as she heard Charlie's feet pounding on the hardwood floor._

_"Mama, I'm gonna be a T-Wex!"_

"Rach?"

Rachel jumped slightly as she looked up and frowned at the sight of Quinn standing before her with tired eyes, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared at the woman who sat on the couch staring at an unopened UPS box.

"Charlie's Halloween costume just arrived." Rachel explained in a soft voice as she glanced up to see Quinn's breath subtly catch, her chest ceasing to move for a long moment. "I can't find it in myself to open it."

"He was so excited to be a dinosaur this year. Part of me thinks Puck was more excited than he was though." Quinn whispered as she released a watery laugh, moving around the coffee table to sit beside her wife.

"Oh yeah. I forgot he was going to take him trick-or-treating this year." Rachel muttered as she ran her hand over the top of the sealed box, biting her lower lip for a moment. "S-should we open it?"

Quinn was silent for a moment before she released a deep sigh and dragged her hand through her blonde locks, "Part of me wants to throw it out, honestly. But a bigger part of me knows that we shouldn't."

Rachel silently nodded before she reached for the tape and slowly peeled it off, the sound of the box opening filling the air as the two women dug through the peanuts before removing the red T-Rex costume, tears spilling freely down their cheeks.

"He would've looked so cute." Rachel whispered, her voice cracking slightly as she ran her hand over the soft material of the costume before glancing over to see Quinn's head bobbing in agreement.

"Yeah, our little man." Quinn nodded.

Rachel sighed heavily as she shook her head and looked back down at the costume, her heart breaking as she realized that she'd never be able to see her baby all dressed up again; he was truly gone.

* * *

_**What if I'm standing in your closet trying to talk to you**_

_**And what if I kept the hand-me-downs you won't grow into**_

_**And what if I really thought some miracle would see us through**_

_**But what if the miracle was even getting one moment with you**_

Quinn bit her lower lip as she opened the door slowly, slipping her hand along the wall till she found the light switch and she carefully switched it on, her hazel eyes roaming freely over the walk-in closet that housed her son's clothing.

"God, Charlie." Quinn whispered as she stood in the doorway, her hazel eyes filling with tears as she looked around before reaching out to grab his favorite orange t-shirt, looking down at the jelly stain.

She could remember the times her son begged and pleaded to wear the shirt, no matter how many muddy stains were scattered all over the material and how many little rips had managed to form around the seams.

"Baby, I miss you so much." Quinn mumbled through a sob as she squeezed her eyes shut, biting her lower lip as she shook her head slowly. "I want you back here with me, little man. I need you here with me, mama can't do this."

Sighing softly, Quinn slowly lifted the shirt to her nose and inhaled deeply as she breathed in the smell of long gone innocence, a single tear sliding down the length of her chin to splatter against the shirt.

"Quinn, what are you doing?" Rachel asked in a gentle tone as she stepped into the closet, resting her hands on Quinn's hips and glancing over her shoulder at the t-shirt clinched in the blonde's fists. "Oh."

"Yeah," Quinn muttered with a bitter smile as she swallowed hard before raising her gaze to look around at the multiple shirts and little jeans hanging neatly in the closet. "Where should we uh where should we start?"

"Um," Rachel frowned as she stepped around her wife, moving forward to run a finger along a row of neatly hung button up shirts, her eyes closing briefly as she recalled having to fight with Charlie just to get one on his body. "Here, I suppose."

Quinn gave a firm nod as she stepped forward as well, silently folding the orange t-shirt in her hands and carefully setting it in a brown box marked with Charlie's name across the sides, drawings of dinosaurs and race cars littering the sides.

The couple slowly began to fold little shirts and grass stained jeans, swapping memories as they worked and allowing soft laughs to leave their mouths; it had been months since they had heard each other laugh, since they had laughed _together_.

They were down to the last few shirts when Rachel sighed and glanced over to Quinn, the blonde's brow furrowed slightly as she carefully folded a pink t-shirt, setting it in a halfway full brown box.

"I thought it was going to be okay." Rachel confessed in a quiet tone, Quinn's head popping up in confusion. "I really believed that somehow a miracle would fall upon us, that Charlie would go into remission."

Quinn was silent before she smiled bitterly, "Me too."

"How could have this had happened?" Rachel muttered as she glanced down at the t-shirt in her lap, running her finger over the collar of the material. "How are we supposed to just move on from this, Quinn?"

"We don't really move on, Rachel." Quinn assured her in a quiet voice, her brow furrowing slowly as she scooted a little closer to her wife. "We live our life, but we never forget him. We'll _never_ forget him, alright?"

"Yeah." Rachel sniffled. "Alright."

Quinn sighed lightly as she leaned forward to rest her lips against Rachel's forehead before she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before drawing away to stare into tear-filled brown orbs, "I love you, Rachel."

"To the moon and back?" Rachel smiled.

"To the moon and back." Quinn agreed.

_**I remember your bare feet down the hallway**_

_**I love you to the moon and back**_


End file.
